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Posted on January 28, 2008 by


Last night we had evensong and it went very well. It felt great to be with God’s people and to really see them rally around a sister in need, lifting her up in prayer.

After evensong was done I went over to Meagan’s to pray and say goodnight, we ended up talking about a lot of things.

A little background; for the past couple days I’ve been kind of out of it and I haven’t been able to figure out why until yesterday morning. Through all of the wedding planning and general concern for the future I had stopped dreaming about the future. This lack of dreaming reduced all of the planning down to just trying to break even, which isn’t enough. Deep in my core i need to know that i am working toward something greater, that i am following a plan for my life and not just trying to get by. Sure this may mean that i have to trust God more… but i would say that’s a good thing.

So last night we talked about our present conditions and our future. For me it has felt like the calling on my life is constantly shifting and changing and yet staying the same. So after an hour + of talking about things this is where i ended up.

I feel God is leading me to be a worship leader, in the truest sense of the term. In short this looks like a Music and Small group Pastorate, only very different from the traditional forms of these. Because in the church people need to be worshiping God in their personal lives, this involves intentionality and practice and guidance to be able to do this in a way that will truly honor God. through this vibrant personal worship life the corporate gathering is deeply affected. I think this is why we see so much consumerism on sunday mornings, God is there to serve them, throughout the week they only try to get things from God, so on sunday they come and stand stoicly waiting for the warm fuzzy music and the empowering speech and if they don’t get it then it’s the staffs fault, or better yet it’s God’s fault.

I will continue this more but i have lessons.

I will edit this later.

p.s. – thank you to my family who responded so quickly to the last post, it truly makes me feel loved and appreciated.

Posted in: Praxis